As of late every time there is an issue in the Warders my mind tries to grasp the reason why I'm doing this in the first place. This is not a new phenomenon, it's been happening since I took on DLship. It's been nearly a year and I don't feel that the division thinks it's better off with the changes I've implemented. While I beleive 100% in what has changed, I don't think the division sees it that way.
It feels like membership has dropped dramatically for both newbs and promotions, from trainee to Tower Guard and even the number of Warders that are bonding. And I can't help but think it has to do with the promotion scheme. I'd get rid of it all together if I thought it would help, but it wouldn't people would still bitch and complain.
There are several reasons why I'm considering stepping down. The main reason being I'm not sure this is really worth my time. In the coming months my internet time is going to be small with the new baby. Do I want to spend all my time dealing with the little things that tend to get on my nerves or do I really want to be writing and doing the things that are fun? I mean I've enough responsibility to DM in general with what I need to do for Jason, bring in the Warders on top of that and I doubt I'll have much time to write. I don't know.
I guess I'm growing tired of the politics that surrounds everything. I enjoy the Warders, but I don't enjoy having to debate and discuss my every action or decision. There is not any single event that triggered this consideration, it's more the totality of it all.
I'm currently under the high assumption that applying for the DLship in the first place was a bad idea. I think I'll sit on this a little while and worry about it later. God knows my mind can be changed in a heart beat.